Don’t Believe A Word I Say with Bob Segarini

The Monday Morning Mailbag for January 11^th 2010

We open another mailbag full of your comments and anecdotes and I can’t thank you enough for your correspondence. It is always a pleasure to see how many of us had similar experiences regardless of where we grew up or where we live now. Keep ‘em coming!

And how about hearing more from you industry types? The stories of your early days and why you pursued a career in entertainment would be of interest to all who read this blog, and so would your take on what’s going on today. Hearing the reality of what is going on out there from those on the front lines cannot be beat. So take some time if something you see here strikes a chord. We know you’re all busy riding around in limousines drinking mimosas and chatting with supermodels and Bono, but it would really be appreciated if you could take a little time out from lighting your Monte Christo cigars with hundred dollar bills and dictate a missive to us once in a while. Seriously…we’d really love to hear from more of you. Really.

Here’s this week’s Mailbag…

Jim Chisholm: It occurred to me, Bob, that of all the things that happened in 2009, reading your FYI blogs have been one of the best. And communing with the gang that reads you has been fun as well. Thanks.

SEG SAYS: Why, thank you Jim. The biggest pleasure that comes with writing this blog is reading the feedback from youse guys and hearing the stories you all have to tell. The virtual equivalent of sitting around a kitchen table half cut and sharing each other’s experiences. Best way to spend an evening in my humble opinion…

Lisa McDonald: Bob, My sentiments on the season exactly. Thank god the first Monday of 2010 has arrived. I too want to get back to work, work, work and earn money to fly to California
Please let me squeeze in your suitcase if you book a trip before me
Please, please, please!
I’ve been wanting to go to Los Angeles to meet Pamela Des Barres…
she conducts writers workshops regularly and I would love to attend one of them
She also takes people on rock and roll tours of the L.A. area…but of course, you could probably take me on a tour like that yourself!

SEG SAYS: California to me is all north of the Grapevine. I could do a couple of days in Hollywood, maybe a few in Anaheim, and definitely a day or two in San Diego, San Luis Obispo, and Santa Barbara, but I’d rather be on Fisherman’s Wharf, in Yosemite or Tahoe, and Stockton and the Delta in Isleton for the crawdad festival or Locke for a steak from Al the Wop’s. Pamela Des Barre was around a lot back in the old days, part of Zappa, Carl the Birdman, and Vito and Suzie’s entourage, and later part of GTO and a groupie about town. The first time I met her was in the old Colonial style hotel on Sunset where you could get 4 taquitos and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice for a dollar. A drummer friend, “Fast” Eddie Hoh http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:wbfoxqlgldje~T1 introduced me to her. She answered the door nude. Eddie stayed, I left, but I kept the dozen roses he took to her when she tossed them out the door and pulled Eddie into the room by his shirt collar. Pamela is a very beautiful woman and the author of some great books about the era, and the groupie lifestyle. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pamela_Des_Barres

Todd Miller: Happy New Year Bob, Pie, and assorted kittens! Here’s hoping 2010 is not a Kirby, Hoover or Dyson! I am trying hard to get you some sponsors for your incredible RadioZombie shows. If any readers of Bob’s column want to sponsor or advertise on his radio show, please get in touch with me, we need to get this man back behind a mic ASAP!
todd@toddmiller.ca

SEG SAYS: Same to ya, Big Guy. Congratulations on the new baby and the continued growth at www.RadioThatDoesntSuck.com

Melanie Pickrell: Hey Bob
Do you remember when you guys had a gig somewhere I think it was a TV show and all the equipment was locked inside the Moustache? Do you remember how I saved the day because I was the smallest of you all? I am typing with a cast on my hand so it will be strangely spelled. Please correct any miss spelled stuff, ok Bawb…?

The Wacks were all excited about going to film The Like Young Show.. We had all spent the better part of a morning getting all glammed up. Myself included I was wearing red short shorts and when I say short I mean like a pair of big girl panties with fish-net stockings and yellow platform boots maybe with 7 in heels, This was topped off with the ever present see through shirt and my long white fur coat and big black hat with a feather. The Wackers assembled on the landing to our “rooms” and started downstairs to the door to the club. Because inside the club; Le Moustache, left on the stage from the night before were all the guitars that the band needed to take to the filming of the TV show. To the dismay of all assembled, the door to the club and hence the stage was locked! The owners wouldn’t be there until that evening to open up for the night’s show. Before the day of cell phones, what to do? What to do? Even if we could call someone to open up the lock, they would get there too late for us to make it to the filming. Sooo…Mike Stull kicked the door and a panel at the bottom flew off and into the inside of the club. It was a small opening one foot wide and 3 feet high. I was the smallest person in the group at 4′ 11″ and 98 lbs, needless to say I was elected to run into the club get on the stage and retrieve the Wackers’ guitars. I handed my hat and coat to someone and squeeezed through the opening. I could only carry one guitar at a time so I think I made four round trips, each trip being a city block long each direction. Finally, I squeeezed back through the opening, put back on my hat and coat and I didn’t even get a run in my fish nets. Off we went to film The Wacks first TV show in Canada.

SEG SAYS: I remember it well, Mel. You did save the day…and those shorts were very, VERY short.

Mark Vukovich: Bob…OPP here in the states…refers to a hiphop song about “Other Peoples Pussy” as if one could own that part of a woman..! Just got off the phone with G. Smalley..still in the hospital but he sounded good.

SEG SAYS: Well, that certainly is different than “Ontario Provincial Police”. I spoke to our friend Gary during the holidays. For those who don’t know, Gary landed in Stockton’s St. Joseph’s Hospital with some health problems over the holidays and scared the shit out of all of us. The good news is that he is on the mend. Get well soon, G…and take care of yourself.

W. Steven Green: Yes, the Maidenhead. As a teenage kid, I’d get off the subway (the Metro) and walk through Alexis Neon towards the 105 bus stop, hoping that the tall beauty in full costume would be standing out in front as she usually was, smiling and making me wish I were ‘of age’. Hmm. Every time I read your column, it’s another jaunt down memory lane. Thanks Bob.

SEG SAYS: The hottest waitresses in a city full of hot waitresses. Good fish and chips too, if I recall…

Roxanne: Hey Bob
Pedantic woman here – driving me crazy when I read “Alexis NEON”, ’cause it’s “Alexis Nihon” plaza. Also, it is “Girouard” Park, in NDG.
Knows ‘em, ’cause I loved ‘em. Strange days indeed.
Oh, and who could forget Jesse Winchester, also a reg at the Moustache? That man could write a song!
Best wishes for a non-sucking New Year!

SEG SAYS: Okay, Roxy, you got me on Girouard Park, but “Nihon” sounds more like Japan than Closse Street. We met Jesse the first time we went to Andre Perry’s studio. He was sitting at the grand piano in studio A working on an album. Lovely man, and an extremely talented songwriter/singer. Moved back to the U.S after amnesty was declared.

Mark Vukovich: Outstanding read again Bob…your memories are my memories and I can’t thank you enough for putting them down on the net like you are doing. My dear Mom worked at the Ritz and my Dad was a Mason and a Shriner…good people, great work ethic…just work and family. Dad might have a pop or two before dinner…his only vice if it was one. Elvis blew us all away…my first 45 was “Love Me Tender”…got it at Freitas Music. Keep up the marvelous work my friend.

SEG SAYS: Our parents and grandparents belonged to a hell of a lot of ‘clubs’ back in those days, a practice that seems to have either gone underground or disappeared from the social landscape. The Elks, Moose, Shriners, Eastern Star, and Daughters of the American Revolution were all pretty big and influential back in the ‘40’s and ‘50’s. Elvis DID have a bit of an impact, didn’t he? More about that in Wednesday’s Rock Files…

Michael Tomasek: This would be so great as a Wonder Years or Arrested Development type show with Bob doing a voice over. Not for the big three of course but Showtime or Bravo fer sure…

SEG SAYS: Workin’ on it, Michael…workin’ on it. A big screen treatment for “The Wack and Roll Circus Hits the Road”, and a small screen pitch and outlines for 24 episodes of “The Rock Files” for HBO, Showtime, VHI or anyone that ‘gets’ it are in the works as we speak.

Ray Murray: Bob, I was 11 years in 1955 listening to the radio in Nova Scotia. Your recollections of days gone by conjure up images of my own days when listening to radio as a kid. I really enjoyed every word of your “Don’t believe a word I say” and took it as God’s own truth. Looking forward to your next installment,

SEG SAYS: Welcome aboard, Ray, and thanks for the kind words.

Frank Gutch Jr: You really sent a treatment for the Wackers R&R Circus to Media Control Central? It’s too good for those vultures! I say get a grant from one of those Canadian art foundations and do it yourself! Beatles? The La’s? Big Star? Yeah, I can see it. Monstrous company for the Research Turtles, but they’re worthy.Tell Pie the Wii training will help her if she ever decides to compete with Billie Jean King.

SEG SAYS: We’re looking into a grant to help seed the time it will take to put these projects together, but the Government funded programs tend to favour those that either don’t need the money, or somehow glorify hockey, snow, seals, toques, or poutine, but you never know. The Turtles are more than worthy, they are equals. I pray they stay together and fight the good fight and that someone gets involved that understands their music, their immediacy, their perfect mix of what has gone before into something brand new and original, and then doesn’t fuck it up.

Jim Chisholm: Hey Bob. I’ve got information overload. But the one I want, A&R Online 41 is not showing in the RTDS window. What gives?

Todd Miller: We got a late start today Chis, it’s there now!

SEG SAYS: It was my fault, actually. Got it to Todd late because, like a secretary that backs into the paper shredder, I get a little behind in my work. Sorry.

www.radiothatdoesntsuck.com

Carla Lockhart: Lovely, Bob.

SEG SAYS: No, Carla…YOU’RE lovely. I’m just handsome in a rugged, well worn way.

Gary Feikert: That’s all there was to listen to, KSTN and KJOY, back in the early 60s. Remember ‘Howdy Honkers ?’ Never got into KRAK, but it filled the vineyards with tunes while I picked grapes in Lodi.

SEG SAYS: I picked tomatoes one year. Damn near broke my back. Remember telling girls that pissed you off to go play stoop tag in an asparagus field? I do…never saw any of them out there, though.

Sheldon Sturges: I remember when, years ago, you were hosting a midnight movies thing onCity-TV. I was watching a weird movie called “God Told Me To” but was unable to see the whole thing. I sent you a snail mail and you thoughtfully gave me the spoiler(s) for that very odd film about a week later. Always quite the lad, Bob!

When did you turn into Colonel Saunders ?

SEG SAYS: Always glad to help when I know the answer to a question. When did I turn into Col. Saunders? About the same time I realized how much money there is in chicken.

Heather Bishop Prince: Love the video!!!

SEG SAYS: More music from our appearance at November’s IPO soon…and thanks!

Carla Lockhart: Bob, you are totally a foodie! And hey, I’m saving that recipe.

SEG SAYS: Cioppino done right is one of the most drool-worthy meals you could ever hope for. Add scallops to the recipe I posted…a fine addition to the mix….and don’t forget the bib!

Gary Lewis Smalley: Keep the magic in you flowing dear Bob!!!

SEG SAYS: Hey! You’re posting again! Somebody smuggle a laptop into Saint Joe’s, or are you home? Like we said earlier, get well soon…we miss you around here. And that’s not magic in me. What looks like pixie dust is just radioactive dandruff…

Wednesday: A brand new Rock File…

Thanks to all of you who wrote and shared your stories with us. That’s why we’re here. See you all on Wednesday…

That’s enough for now. Email me at segarini@fyimusic.ca with your comments, complaints, and thoughts, and remember…don’t believe a word I say.

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, The Segarini Band, and Cats And Dogs, and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now provides content for radiothatdoesntsuck.com with RadioZombie, The Iceage, and PsychShack. Along with the love of his life, Jade (Pie) Dunlop, (who hosts and writes “I’ve Heard That Song Before” on RTDS), continues to write, make music, and record.