Bob Lefsetz let his imagination fly as his word processor went into overdrive in order to deliver an April 1 newsletter to the industry. Below is an extract from today’s witty and imaginative scribble with a link to his blog for those who haven’t read the entire piece yet.
Apple Buys EMI
And the Beatles join the iTunes Store just in time for Saturday’s iPad launch.
The deal… Just like with Apple’s purchase of Lala, no hard numbers have been released. But both Citi and Terra Firma are happy. Citi gets its money back, and Guy Hands gets to save face, Terra Firma’s covenant breaches become irrelevant, there’s no need to raise and inject new capital and by selling to Jobs, et al, Hands gets to spin the concept that this was his plan all along.
Yes, the catalog license was just a ruse. Because, after all, everyone knows that Mr. Hands is smarter than Doug Morris and Mel Lewinter. Lucian Grainge? He’s a glorified A&R guy with a bean counter mentality. Hands played the Universal boys like a fiddle. Do you really think he’d place the Fab Four’s music in the hands of such charlatans? When he can put it in its rightful place, in the bosom of Steve Jobs, and see it live forever?
What we do know is Apple’s got more of a future than major labels. Which is why the Cupertino company is smart enough to immediately close down new music development at EMI. - Link here for the entire Lefsetz Letter
