Segarini: The Weekend Roundup: “Geezerville: Population-Me”

I am now officially a Senior. I can shoo people off my lawn, keep the Frisbees that get tossed in my yard, take my damn sweet time crossing the street, hold up long lines in grocery stores and banks by showing pictures of my grandkids to the cashiers and tellers, bore the pants off of people by telling stories that all start with, “Back in my day…” and all end in “…at least, that’s how it used to be, before everything went to hell.”, and tell people to “Turn that shit down!” if they play anything recorded after 1975. Sweet…

I’ll let you in an a little secret. In your mind, you feel exactly the same way you did when you were a kid. That’s why having everything else fall apart sucks so much.  It’s like being a 16 year old driver in a 65 year old Chevy, but you can’t trick out you like you can a car. Well, you can dye your hair and look like you’re desperately trying to hold on to your youth, you can get stuff tucked, firmed, lifted, and toned, but that’s just cosmetic, and kind of like painting a car that is rusting away. You get used to the little aches and pains that pop up and never seem to go away, but seeing that old dude when you look in a mirror is a little unsettling. When, you think to yourself, did that happen?

As crappy as it can be, getting older still beats the snot out of the alternative, which is to NOT get older, and we all know what that means.

Keeping your mind engaged and your juices flowing is what makes getting older a wonderful opportunity to apply whatever knowledge you have accumulated over the years, and share it with friends and family, tackle your bucket list, and perhaps do some of the best work you have ever done, or at least help someone else on their path to discounted breakfasts and cheaper bus tickets. In my case, it is mostly teaching people to do as I say, not as I do.

Like the grasshopper in the “Ant and the Grasshopper” fable, I pretty much fiddled while the Ant earned. I didn’t plan for anything. I cruised through life, singing and dancing, laughing my ass off, and generally having a great time. I should have taken some time out to plan for my future, but quite frankly, nobody, including me, thought I would last this long. Now, of course, I want to last even longer. Life is good when you know shit…but I’m still singing and dancing and laughing my ass off.

Here are some of the things I have learned…

Finish school or have a couple of million dollars in the bank before you quit.

Appreciate your parents. Show them and tell them you love them.

Learn how to play a musical instrument.

Remember how stupid you looked when you were a Juvenile Delinquent/Hippie/Punk Rocker/Goth kid/etc, the next time you see a 20-something with a shaved head, ¾ pants, shirt to their knees and a toque during the summer.

Pay attention to your kids. Don’t bother to tell them how much they will regret the tattoos of lover’s names, or portraits of Chris Angel or Betty Page on their bodies when they get older. They’ll figure it out themselves.

Respect your elders unless they’re dickheads or lie about remembering what it was like to be young…they DO remember.

Guys, treat women well so they don’t turn into miserable, angry, bitches.

Gals, treat men well so they don’t turn into miserable, angry bitches.

Put some fucking money away.

Quit drugs, smoking, and boozing it up, or at least seriously cut back before you hit 40. There is hell to pay if you don’t.

Tell the people you love, you love them. Every chance you get.

Learn the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Keep listening to and watching what’s going on.

Keep an open mind.

Learn the difference between ‘not to your taste’ and ‘sucks’. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it ‘sucks’. Lady Ga Ga (so far) is not to my taste. The BP oil spill sucks.

Travel while you’re young.

Don’t spend so much time in bed. Having to will come soon enough.

Always have a pet. They are a great comfort and they teach you stuff.

Remember that you too will be old someday…if you’re lucky.

Hippo Birdies, Two Ewes…my birthday in pictures…

The beautiful black and white photographs are by my old friend Barry Roden, who makes everything look like we were at a Truman Capote Black and White Ball in the ‘40s. The color shots are from the camera of Jade (Pie) Dunlop, my muse and partner in both crime…and crime fighting. If it weren’t for Pie and Glenn Hughes and Cherish Stevenson from Cherry Cola’s Rock ‘N Rolla Cabaret and Lounge, there would not have been a party. I would have been at home watching the Matlock marathon and begging Pie to rub Ben Gay on my back. Party on, Garth…

This is Glenn Hughes singing along with the awesome sound system at Cherry Cola’s…or helping a Stewardess land a plane after the Pilot has succumbed to a peanut allergy aboard a Toronto bound plane, I forget which.

One of my gifts?

No.

This beautiful young woman dances in the window box next to the stage at Cherry Cola’s. She is as sweet as she is adorable. I think she was intoxicated by the heady aroma of cigarettes, bourbon, and Old Spice that I am known for. What woman can resist?

Also as sweet as they are adorable, Cam Carpenter and the lovely Wendi. Cam is an entrepreneur/writer/record exec/manager and golfer, and Wendi makes him look good doing it all. Cam and I have been friends for so long that we both know who The Jags are. Currently, I’m trying to talk him into staring in a remake of “The Amazing Colossal Man”.

From left to right, this is Ramona, Gord X (in the back), me, Doug, Michaele and Peter Kashur. The Pringles (Ramona, Doug and Michael), are one ridiculously talented and artistic family, Gord is a fine bassist and singer, and Kashur can cook, play guitar, and paint better than most. Ramona is a fine actress (see “Shoot ’em Up”) and, like her mother, Michaele Jordana, one time lead singer for The Poles (punk classic “CN Tower”) and widely acclaimed visual artist and painter, Ramona creates riveting imagery.

From left to right: Filmmaker Aldo Edric, Jean Trivett, me and Shew (Peter Kashur). No…we are not line dancing. Peter is trying to see what it is that has made Jean so excited. Hmmm…where is Aldo’s hand?

The party is now in full swing. Some time around here we started to drink up all the Sapporo. Let’s see, that’s Kashur, Jody (the fine drummer for the Black Heath Hounds) Brandon Robins (also a fine, fine, drummer) Jody’s lovely wife Jeannette, who you can catch at the Cameron House Mondays between 6 and 8 pm, me, Pie, and Joel Rabinowitz.

This is another great photographer and one of the happiest people I know. I love this picture because it looks like we’re in the ‘30s or ‘40’s at some Hollywood or New York fete.  Richard Freedman and I at the Algonquin celebrating our first Broadway show, “Her Heels Are High” starring Jade Dunlop and Clark Gable.

That’s Ron Camilleri on the left. Among other things, he fronts an awesome Elton John Tribute called Ronnie and the Jets. Not to be missed. Last night, (Friday September 3^rd) they headlined the Burlington Rib Fest in front of 10 or 15 thousand people covered in barbecue sauce.

There is glamour and there is glamour, but there is no glamour like Pie Glamour. The Hostess with the Mostest takes a moment to pose for the paparazzi…just before she punches them in the throat and steals their cameras.                             ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Greg Simpson and two of the Pussycat Dolls, Violette and Shantih. Greg flew in all the way from London (Ontario) in his car. One of my oldest friends, a linchpin of the annual Canadian Music Week celebration, and the inventor ofnude web surfing.

Glenn and Cherish behind the bar. They made everyone feel at home, got us drunk, fed us fine fruit, cheeses and salamis, and generally proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that a night out can be more fun when the people you are going to see are as important and as desirable as the club, the music, and cachet. They are the heart and soul of Cherry Cola’s, and the staff are just as wonderful.

Danko Jones’ drummer Don Cornelius, his sweetie, bartender extraordinaire, Chrissy, and moi.      ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Some of the gang.

Where’s Waldo?                                    —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

This is Joel and Country singer/songwriter Glenn Reid. They are either discussing music, or braised short ribs. I cannot tell.          ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Tom. He is the doorman at Cherry Cola’s and greets you with a handshake and a smile every time. Do not misbehave. Tom is a very, very, nice guy, but he can crush you like a beer can if you act up.                                                                                                   —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

This is me and DJ Metal Mel. She pops on Wednesdays  and other nights, but always on Wednesdays at Cherry Cola’s. Great tunes, and her and Care Failure from Die Mannequin do some great dual DJ’ing some nights. Mel is looking at the camera while I grab a quick nap…                                                                                    ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

My boss, David Farrell. He leaves me alone to create, doesn’t impose any rules, and makes writing about my life, music, and food, a joy. Now if he could only pay me what I’m worth…                                                    ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Only room for a few more pictures. I wish you all could have been there, and I hope that maybe next time, you will be.

My cake, courtesy of Pie. It was a delicious vanilla white cake and “Bob” was spelled correctly. You can’t ask for much more than that. I’m not supposed to eat sugar, thanks to the adult on-set diabetes I saddled myself with by not following my own advice (see above), but David Farrell helped me out when he put his pint down in the middle of my piece of cake before I had a chance to take one bite. Thanks David, you probably saved my life…prick.

David’s contribution to my health                                                             .————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

This is Barry Roden (and the lovely Sally) A self portrait during a break in the festivities. Thanks for the pix, Barry…they’re as great as ever.        ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

It’s good to be The Bob

Wednesday, September 8^th For the Love of Rock presents Courage My Love at Cherry Cola’s. 200 Bathurst Street Toronto.

Thursday, September 9^th Harlan Pepper, a fine roots band featuring Tom Wilson’s son, debut their brand new CD and play the Imperial Pub. Dundas Street just East of Dundas Square in Toronto

Have a great weekend and we’ll see you here on Monday…

Cherry Cola’s on Facebook

www.cherrycolas.com

That’s enough for now. Email me at segarini@fyimusic.ca with your comments, complaints, and thoughts…and remember…don’t believe a word I say.

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, The Segarini Band, and Cats and Dogs, and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now provides content for radiothatdoesntsuck.com with RadioZombie, The Iceage, and PsychShack. Along with the love of his life, Jade (Pie) Dunlop, (who hosts and writes “I’ve Heard That Song Before” on RTDS), continues to write, make music, and record.