Don’t Believe A Word I Say with Bob Segarini

A&R Online Volume 36! A couple of shaggy dog stories, and more!

An email I have to share with you now…

I belong to a Yahoo Group called ‘Canadian Classic Rock’. We have a few yahoos but not many, really. The list is made up of hundreds of people who grew up with, or just discovered Canadian music from the ‘60’s through the present. They are a group spread out all over the place, and share a love for all things Canadian…mostly. We discuss music, politics, the comings and goings of the members, and pretty much anything else that someone brings up. We have waged war on other lists, entertained and irritated ourselves, and laughed so hard at times we have each sprayed our keyboards with beer or soda at least once. This little meeting room, a virtual corner bar, has been our go-to place for over 10 years, and appears to be headed into it’s second decade of existence just as full of life as it was at the beginning, if not more.

One of the most astute and verbally armed curmudgeons on the list is a guy named Andy who lives in Kingston, Ontario, and loves his cats as much as Pie and I love ours. He is, by turns, a knowledgeable and witty man whose prose generally bring at least a smile to our faces, but can also cut you off at the knees if you rub him the wrong way and unlike most people, do it with such intelligence and humour, that even if you are the target of his well written wrath, you tend to almost agree with his assessment of your shortcomings.

Last week, Andy sent Seb Agnello and I some emails that he had received and written back in 2006. Contained within the emails, two stories told to him by one of our recently departed brothers, some interesting facts about one of Toronto’s most beloved venues, and more. So with Andy’s permission, these then, are the emails, lived, and written by Andy, lister Paul Leask, and A Foot In Coldwater’s Paul Naumann…

Gentlemen,

Pardon for writing both of you at the same time but I am a lazy sunofabitch. FYI had an Url to the Trower site re: Paul Naumann. Back in ‘06 he was unaware of same and I brought it to his attention. He was, as they say in Oz, “chuffed” and wrote me about it.

Had to go back to Paul Leask’s group to check up on the original post (included) and bein’ the middle of the night, I found a small treasure trove of classic Naumannisms. I’ve added a smattering here, most noteably including some old musical war stories and the two funniest stories I’ve ever heard about Newfie dogs, cabbage rolls and dogshit.

Have a giddAe,
=Ae=

……………………………………….

From: “Whisky Howl”
Date: Sun Apr 9, 2006 8:14 pm

I was lookin’ for Alfred E., but I musta spelled it wrong …

http://home.ca.inter.net/~suth/trower/g_naum.html

————————————–

From: <PAULLEASK@…>
Date: Wed May 3, 2006 2:29 pm
Subject: Re: Foot Mocambo     paulleask

Thank you Sir Ae…

I wonder though….??? Did Margaret ever come out to see the Foot boys…??

————————————

From: Whisky Howl

This came up in that-other-group. Logically it belongs here ~

Ae
does something logical once or twice a year …

“A legendary past. When people speak of the legendary El Mocambo
club, they are most likely referring to its tenure under Baird and
Kristenbrun. Under their ownership, the new El Mocambo opened
September 11th 1972. Foot ‘n’ Cold Water, a popular Toronto group
whose hits include “(Make Me Do) Anything You Want,” and “Isn’t Love
Unkind (In My Life),” performed opening night.”

http://www.elmocambo.ca/

………
Erected in 1946, the sign, name, and Spanish theme of the club were
the result of John and Frieda Lang’s research.       The Lang’s purchased
the property as two street addresses: 462 and 464 Spadina Road in
1940, and opened a restaurant. Alcohol consumption was not allowed as
stipulated by a Toronto by-law. However, in 1946 the Ontario Liquor
Licensing Board granted licenses to restaurants willing to operate
American style-drinking establishments. The board hoped to attract
tourism dollars and capitalize on a post-World War II festive mood.
The El Mocambo was among the first Toronto businesses offered a liquor
license. Although willing to help, the Lang’s had no point of
reference for an “American-style” drinking establishment. As a result,
the Langs went on a board-sponsored tour of New York and Chicago
nightclubs, visiting a number of bars that employed a Spanish
influence. Returning to Toronto, the couple transformed 464 Spadina
into “The El Mocambo Tavern,” a quasi-Spanish style nightclub, whose
name is Spanish for “roadhouse.” Business prospered. In 1950, the
Langs opened the second floor, or “Spanish Garden,” for ballroom

dancing

————————————

From: “Paul Naumann”
Date: Wed May 3, 2006 2:42 pm
Subject: Re: Foot Mocambo     paul_biff

Interesting you should mention Margaret (Ms Trudeau at the time) ..
she was indeed there, several times actually. And yes, we opened the
club. Got to meet the Stones at another party we didn’t play at ..
fun evening. Can’t remember who was playing, but Keith and Mick sat
in for a couple o tunes.

Thanx for the memories folks …

Paul

……………
“Paul Naumann”

Re: hmmmmmm

BTW, I own the copyrights to ‘Lump of Chicken’, ‘Rump of
Chicken’, ‘Anything That Tastes Like Chicken’ etc etc, as well.

Bump is a mispell, and Yoko best fix it and send on my check
for ‘use of copyright’. Like she needs the friggin money.

This business sux.

Mad (slightly, meds help) in New Mex (Tex-Mex)

P-Flip

The Thick Plottens Indeed

P-Lop

——————————-
“Whisky Howl” <snerkli@…>
wrote:
>
> Under construction? Server gremlins? Payment overdue? Yoko Ono
bought
> it out and is turning it into an “art” site? A Southeast Asian
dance
> band has registered the name and threatens copyrite infringement,
> prior to their tour with Japanese teen sensations “Bump of
Chicken”?
>
> The plot thickens …
>
> ==
>
> p.s. There really is a Japanese group called Bump of Chicken …

…………………………
e: Local News

You crack me up Andy. John-O was a buddy and best brother to me
since the early days, and will be sadly missed. However, even after
it was offered, I preferred to follow other pursuits as well,
thinking as you do, that that life had the short ride stamp on it,
as regards survival.

NoRegretsInChina ..

“Whisky Howl”
wrote:
>
> I’ve had the acquaintance of some alleged members of Benevolent
> Associations specializing in the wholesale used motorcycle parts
and
> recreational pharmaceuticals and even shared digs with same; in a
> variety of exotic locations, some with early neo-Victorian
> architecture. It always struck me as a career choice unconducive
to a
> lengthy and idyllic retirement. The constabulary often has things
> wrong – occasionally through genuine error.
>
> Life has been crashingly dull, by comparison at least, for more
than a
> decade. I love it.
>
> Sincerely,
> Knowsnothington Nash
> & his cute fuzzy little gaggle of pomeranians
>
> …………..

…………………………

From: “Whisky Howl”
Date: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:10 pm
Subject: Re: I ‘m Not Sure But….     whiskeyhowl

Blow torch at one end – harpoon on doggie’s nose – Moby Dick is toast.
The future of modern warfare belongs to cabbage-fuelled Newfies…

=Ae=
……………..

PAULLEASK wrote:
>
> I wouldn’t want to have been around a dog who just ate 3 dozen
cabbage rolls….
> Those fumes would  have been deadlier than  carbon monoxide..???
> Pull my tail…

“Whisky Howl”

Date: Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:45 am
Subject: Re: I ‘m Not Sure But….     whiskeyhowl

Basking in the glow of his first positive accomplishment of the
calendar century …

=Æ=
………………

“Whisky Howl”  wrote:
Re: I ‘m Not Sure But….

Some symmetry there – speaking of Newfies and Foot In Cold etc. I had
this buddy, see, one of the kind that is comparable to chillblains and
thrombosed hemerroids. First, he was smaller than me, which really
makes me nervous because nobody is – so I figure guys like that are
always packed. 2nd he played mediocre bass and bad classical piano and
worse mandola. 3rd he married my ex which serves him right because she
managed to screw up his entire life in the 2 years they spent
together. But back when we wuz all young herbiforous types he had this
dog.

Ivan was a Newfie. Ivan weighed 165 pounds. Ivan once shat on my
floor. But he made friends with my cat so I liked Ivan. One day me and
buddy and buddy’s Ivan were at Champlain Great Hall, an execrable
venue by night where I saw Tom Rush, John Hartford, Perth County
Conspiracy, Whiskey Howl and … you guessed it … A Foot In Cold
Water. But by day it ceased being an execrable music venue and became
a worse dining room. We were there to pick up drugs or go to an
English Lit class one or the other and he left me in charge of Ivan
for about 5 minutes. Ivan immediately headed into the den of gorging
studentiae and starting wolfing down cabbage rolls. So I went to
retrieve Ivan who always did what I said except this time. So I picked
him up. This was when I was a wiry little cuss who spent half the year
doing bullwork and twice my weight wasn’t a problem. The trouble is
that it’s impossible to pick up more than half a Newfie. So there I am
with the front end of a Newfie with his maw full of cabbage drool and
some helpful frosh shows up with a whole plateful of more cabbage
rolls. “Is your dog hungry. We’ve got extra food …”.

“It’s not my fucking dog,” I replied sweetly but I managed to entice
the great lumbering ox-that-walked-like-a-dog out of the hall with the
plate of cabbage rolls. There must have been 3 dozen of the damn
things and Ivan scarfed them all. *Then* buddy-from-heck shows up.

“So where did Ivan get the plate of food?”, he asks.

Did I mention this guy was really, really bright?

One night a year later he went out to end it all, let Ivan go in the
country, and stuffed the exhaust of his heap with rags and sat back to
inhale some carbon monoxide. Of course he ran out of gas. Then he had
to walk Ivan 20 miles back into town. Ivan was as happy as a pig in
shit. The dude’s still alive and Ivan lived til a ripe old age. And I
can’t stand foqquing cabbage rolls.

~ The End ~

…………..
— In, “Paul Naumann” wrote:

> Great tale ..
>
> When we had auditioned ‘live’ for Frank Davies, our soon to be
> Record Label (Capitol/Daffodil) and Publisher (thanx Frank), he had
> made an appointment to see us at a rehearsal, to meet and get to
> know one another. No deal had been signed as of yet. We had a house
> in Scarboro, having just moved into the city from our farm in
> Pickering. We had a pair of huge Newfy dogs, utterly unaccustomed to
> the city yet. From a 125 acre farm, down to a backyard, we saw
> trouble brewing.
>
> On the day Frank was coming over (our first real meet with the guy)
> we decided to lock the dogs downstairs in our basement, (also
> rehearsal room) so Frank wouldn’t be overwhelmed. These were HUGE
> dogs, and they intimidated many folks. The male, ‘Newfy’ was not
> happy about this sudden incarceration, so he let us know, in a real
> unique way. I used to lean my guitar on my Marshall amp head, on the
> floor, to reduce vibration of the tubes. ‘Newfy’ did a huge dump
> right on the middle of my ‘64 strat, right on top of the pickups,
> seeing as I was the one who took him down to the basement. (who says
> dogs don’t know?)
>
> When Frank arrived, he had to wait for an hour while the guitar got
> destrung, wiped clean, and ready to play again. Never occurred to us
> to use another. Good luck guitar. “We passed the audition” was a
> real phrase for us, from that day on.
>
> As bad as it sounds, no one faulted the dog, and rather, it made a
> great story for us to tell folks, forever.
>
> I still play like shit, and to this day I smell like it too ….
>
> Paul

…………………………

From: “Paul Naumann”
Date: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:30 am
Subject: Re: New file uploaded to afootincoldwater     paul_biff

Why do I feel like I’ve already been to THAT joint?

P-Lip

— In afootincoldwater@yahoogroups.com, “Whisky Howl” <snerkli@…>
wrote:
>
> Worry not, I’ll delete it in a day or so. These guys (Dayglo A’s)

From: “Whisky Howl”
Date: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:03 pm
Subject: Re: New file uploaded to afootincoldwater     whiskeyhowl

Worry not, I’ll delete it in a day or so. These guys (Dayglo A’s) are
playing my burg this month – the drummer is reputed to look about 100
now – in a joint where me and a bud drink a single ginger ale once in
a while if we’re waiting for our laundry to dry at the same time. It’s
maybe 100 legal seats (frequently closed for overcrowding) and
decorated in early highschool washroom. All the ambience of a root
cellar full spaghnum moss on a hot summer day. Hope all the old guys
that drink there during the day are gone when the punks arrive.

I got my money on the old guys … they’re colourful sorts.

Ae

………….
Thanks Andy…and we miss you, Paul.

You can join the Canadian Classic Rock List here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/canadianclassicrock/

Volume 36

You can hear all of these tracks by going to www.radiothatdoesntsuck.com/myWimpy.html and click on ‘A & R Online Volume 36’ Just Google the artists names for more information about them.

Brad Paisley – American Saturday Night - Next to Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley is my favourite mainstream country artist, and he is one of two American artists in this week’s A&R Online. There is a simple reason for this. The songs are compelling. This one, because of all the bashing the U.S has suffered of late, is a refreshing shout out of some of the small, yet wonderful merits of our big, confused neighbor to the South. Add to a finely crafted song some great playing, an infectious groove, and Paisley’s inventive and singular guitar style and down home vocal, and you’ve got one hell of a track. This is one of those records that will be turned up when it gets played, because someone is going to want to dance to it and others will want to sing along. Even if country music isn’t your cup of tea, this song is undenyable in any genre. Now hand me a Lone Star and let me finishing grilling this steak…

Jacksoul – Lonesome Highway – Haydon Neale has been through hell in the last couple of years, and resurfaces here with his talent and wits intact. We always looked forward to playing Jacksoul when I was at SIRIUS, and each release was better than the last. This is no exception. Jacksoul is back and better than ever. Given his recent troubles, this lyric goes deep, and is beautifully delivered. Welcome back, Haydon.

Jessie Farrell – Nobody Says No – -Something tells me the first person character singing this song would be an absolute bitch in real life, but probably great in the sack, and a hell of a lot of fun when things were going her way. Jessie wraps her head around this lyric and delivers it like she means it, and that’s what makes it work. A unique combination of old school Helen Reddy “I Am Woman” jingoism, contemporary country, and hip-hop  gangsta bragging about just how tough you are. Jessie Farrell pulls it off with no apologies. Cool. You go, girl…

Boyz II Men– I Can’t Make You Love Me Here’s the other American track, from a group who are now more men than boys. I’ve always loved harmony records, and doo-wop in particular, and this track delivers. The combination of these voices and a song that holds a special place in my life was too strong not to share with you. Bonnie Raitt’s version of this tune got me through one of the worst periods of my life. Living in a horrible little apartment with a mouse that became my best friend and a computer given to me by an old pal, Bonnie’s CD single was the only song I had. This is a fine version, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Blue Rodeo– Waiting For The World – I think the new Blue Rodeo album is a game changer for the band. It is a great collection of songs, and as warm as a hot buttered rum in front of a fire in the fireplace on a chilly fall day.

The band sounds live and in the room with you, Jim and Greg sing like brothers, and the songs run the gamut from personal to story, from rock to country to roots to almost indefinable. This is one of my favourite tracks from Disc One. The album is being released on both CD and vinyl, or, if you prefer, digitally. Catch them on tour between January and April.

Justin Hines– And Then There’s Christmas – Here’s this weeks Christmas release. Justin uncorks a winner that transcends the normal holiday fare and brings a musicality to the table that a lot of contemporary seasonal songs lack. With great tracks like this being released, Dylan’s mugging of traditional Christmas songs becomes that much more irritating. Ol’ Bob should have looked to the youngsters for material, or at least, written some himself. Justin Hines deserves to be under the tree. Dylan deserves to be stuffed in a stocking.

Win of the Week

Sure, it seems like you’ve seen this before, and you have. The original mini series ran years ago and brought fun science fiction back to the small screen with a great plot, (Alien Lizard Nazi’s!), wicked, for the time, special effects, and nifty technology. It has all been updated, slicked back, and, with the addition of a fine cast, brings the same popcorn kicks we got from War of the Worlds, Mars Attacks, and Independence Day. The first episode was pretty good, and it looks like the next 3 are even better. Sure it’s mindless, but sometimes that is just the right thing to take your mind off of the economy, your job, and the guy that borrowed your snow blower and hasn’t brought it back. Four episodes have been shot, and if they get good ratings, ABC is committed to a full season. If they yank this show before it finds its footing, ABC will end up in the Fail of the Week slot in about a month. Here’s hoping we get to see the beautiful leader of the aliens eat a whole live hamster in the next few weeks…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahjPQjQGdbU

Fail of the Week

I’m assuming they put this guy on suicide watch after this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEh4P56VsQE&feature=fvw

Parting Shot

Two young kids, one doing the arrangement, and one singing and doing the beats, did this and prove without a doubt that there are some awfully talented folks out there doing the stuff you’d think the pros would have thought of doing. This is an extraordinary effort, and these guys are incredibly gifted. Let’s hear something original from them next time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12QVtuB0_Q

Have a great weekend, see you on Monday…

That’s enough for now. Email me at segarini@fyimusic.ca with your comments, complaints, and thoughts…and remember…don’t believe a word I say.

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, The Segarini Band, and Cats and Dogs, and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now provides content for radiothatdoesntsuck.com with RadioZombie, The Iceage, and PsychShack. Along with the love of his life, Jade (Pie) Dunlop, (who hosts and writes “I’ve Heard That Song Before” on RTDS), continues to write, make music, and record.