Bob Segarini’s Monday Morning Mailbag

The Monday Morning Mailbag for February 1^st 2010

Damn! Did I miss the Grammy’s again?

Why are all the awards shows on on the nights I wash my hair, or take out the garbage, or change the kitty litter, or play canasta?

What’s that you say?

Unube? You Toque? You Tube?

The body isn’t even cold yet and the vids are already being uploaded to the Intertoobz. These days, you don’t have to miss anything…unless you want to.

It was, however, wonderful to see the Simpson’s, Family Guy, and American Dad without the Global I.D’s pasted all over them, ear-splitting commercials, and wonky edits. I did manage to catch a bit of Pink when the vid was uploaded and someone sent me a link. Do Ringling Brothers know about this? Cirque de Soliel? All I can think when I see what’s happening in the music business and to the artists who desperately want to be rich, famous and loved, is that P.T Barnum was right. There is one born at least every minute…and now that there are millions of them, the circus has truly come to town. The only things missing are elephants, cotton candy, and a bearded lady.

While I was going through my email to put together this week’s Monday Morning Mailbag, I came across this forward from Keith “Daytime Night Time” Hampshire. Supposedly a real ad on Craigslist, but it seems too damn funny to me to have been written by someone that actually wants his drummer whacked…then again…the drummer sounds real. I have been blessed throughout my entire musical career to have had nothing but wonderful drummers keeping the groove…but I have met this drummer on many occasions:

Looking for someone to kill my drummer – for $100.00.

Do not fear any negative consequences. Any self respecting law enforcement
agency would gladly turn the other cheek once they hear this guy “play”.
I’m tired of hearing his 70’s style fills put in the wrong spot and ending one half beat early or late depending on how much he’s had to smoke. I am tired of him standing up behind his drums between songs and ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles at wedding receptions where we were hired to play Air Supply, carpenters , and Anne Murray songs because “chicks dig the pecs, dude”. I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late for rehearsals then pouting until someone helps him load in his drums, then taking 30 minutes to set them up and needing a smoke break every 15 minutes, then wanting to leave early because” this chick is so fine, I can’t say no, and she knows record people dude, so it’s for the band” I am totally done with him calling me up at midnight to play me some damned jazz fusion album from 1981, crying and saying how we shouldn’t have sold out to “the man” and asking if I know anyone who can get him some weed knowing full well I smoked twice in 69 and never touched it after that. I am sick of him farting on stage where the drum mics pick it up and thinking this shit is funny. I am tired of kicking off slow ballads at well under 80 bpm only to have them morph into the methamphetamine version of flight of the bumble bee, because that’s the tempo he “feels” it at…I am tired of having to carry jumper cables to the gig because “I must have left the dome light on again, dude” Instead of admitting his 84 astro van is a worn out piece of crap. I am tired of him asking when he’s gonna get a drum solo…I am tired of paying his tab at restaurants because “that chick must have stole my wallet man, but it was worth it ’cause she was a phreak”.. I will not move my amp again so he can put another cymbal on stage, because “when we learn some fusion, I’ll need this sound”…please somebody kill this motherfucker. I can’t do it because he’s my brother and mom would be so pissed off even though she thinks the band would probably sound better too. Besides, if you are good at killing drummers, you could probably make a lot of money in this town.

On the other hand, there’s this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O-hCtPfef8

Let’s hit the mail, shall we…

John O’Mara: I have friends who used to live in the Bay Area. During my visits there, I spent countless hours in Amoeba (mostly in Berkeley) and Rasputin Records in Berkeley and downtown San Francisco. And the now-defunct Virgin Megastore…not as cool as Amoeba or Rasputin but the selection was huge. These days I get my fix at BJ’s Records in Barrie. Those guys know their music. Ask them about, say, the Treniers, and you’ll get a five-minute answer.

SEG SAYS: You might be interested in this, John…from Warren Cosford’s wonderful list: All hail, Yvonne Prinz — the Princess, nay the Queen, of Vinyl. As a teen, she worked at A&A Records in Edmonton Centre. At 29, she fled to the San Francisco area, where she co-founded one of California’s most beloved independent record chains, Amoeba Music, in Berkeley. Now, on the cusp of 50, she’s promoting her fourth novel for young adults, The Vinyl Princess, about a 16-year-old record-store clerk, Allie, who starts a blog devoted to LPs and 45s. Read more: http://www.nationalpost.com/todays-paper/story.html?id=2502051#ixzz0eDdsm9Wr

Responses to last Monday’s Mailbag…

Michele: Bob, love the Dude’s pictures! since so many things are so new to me..and information overload seems to jumble so much up, please give me the names of the other Dudes..I know yours and that has to be David Henman top left…right? Love what I’ve been fortunate to hear of the Dude’s music…even though I was a tad confused at the time as to vocals…oops…but thanks for where it’s lead me on my musical journey into Canadian music…I hate missing out. : ) I still think I’m the luckiest gal in Texas but not greedy, I’m enjoying others here listening with me. Had a great day of that the other day.
that Twinkie is just awful lookin’ btw. Jade’s got me craving Baklava…time for a drive in to Plano to my favorite Greek Restaurant. Ah, a desert for your Record Store!! That and a sinfully delicious fudge brownie…I’ll share a great recipe if you want. Only fair…you shared yours.

SEG SAYS: From left to right, Top: David Henman, Brian Greenway, William “Kootch” Trochim, Bottom: Richie Henman, Bob Segarini, and Wayne Cullen. There’s a Greek restaurant in Plano? I wonder if there’s a barbecue brisket place in Athens…

Frank Gutch Jr: Greenway’s still a senior? I would have thought he would have graduated by now! Saw him and April Wine crunch out a great version of ’21st Century Schizoid Man’ as an encore at a huge bar in Federal Way around ‘80 or so. Had my friend tape the radio broadcast, but the SOB’s cut off the encores! Glad I was there, though. They smoked!

SEG SAYS: April Wine work hard every time they hit a stage. Myles and Co. deserve a lot more respect than is currently afforded them.

Toni: “Top Ten True Facts” #6- Didn’t play my $25k keno ticket at breakfast, tired of not winning. Sure enough 8 out of 8 came in! Bad day at work followed:( Good, looking forward to the Motown! Was looking thru some old pics today and found a hand bill from the Crystal… “May 19-20th The Family Tree, Warloks, Thundering Heard -Eye Happiness Light Show- $1.50 single $2.50 couple, ages 16-21? Doesn’t say the year. Does have a pic of a girl w/long hair and in bubble she’s saying “Free Daisys”. Sure would like to go back and do it again!!! Toni, Reno NV

SEG SAYS: I told you they were true facts! Can you scan that poster and send me a copy? That would be very, very, cool.

Michele Hartley: ”I’d be tossing people out the door…” LOL! Yes, and that’s the reputation that would make you famously successful at it! the vision grows…coffee/tea/wine…you’re own name on the label…in time…a little sandwich shoppe…a pit to sit, listen and talk music…gosh, I already want to shop with you!.. I see an old fashioned dj booth too, you at the helm…The Iceman!! it’s great!

SEG SAYS: I’d LOVE to own a place like that, but I’d probably lose it in a late night card game or accidentally burn it down grilling a steak in the diner area…

Responses to last week’s Rock Files…

Mark Vukovich: Bob…Another classic…for those of us that lived in Stockton at that time and I’m sure for many readers out there who don’t even know where Stockton is. You s.o.b you…you had dinner with Tuesday Weld and I wasn’t informed…did you have a confidentiality agreement or what. Well I guess if all the fellas had known where she was that evening we would have stormed the castle gates..! Serious crush on her…and you know Fabian hit it…she was FINE. Dwight Snyder…I remember him well with the bald dome…wondered about that…dude wasn’t frail or anything…in fact I’m sure he was a varsity football player at Stagg. I believe I’ll try to find that movie somewhere…it would be a trip to see the ole town again…back in the day. Always a pleasure to read you, Bobby. Vuke in Lodi

SEG SAYS: Ahh, Stockton. Came across this video on You Tube yesterday. They call it a ‘Car Show’, but there are more hot bodies than cars. It does remind me a lot of Stockton though, it looks like it’s probably in the 90’s or hotter, everybody is having a great time, and I can smell Arroyo’s Burritos and Dave Wong takeout; Great. Now I’m hungry AND homesick… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuZGLUyvuZ0

Scott Carpenter: I was acquainted with Fabe in L.A. He’s a great guy, very smart and very humble. He knew he couldn’t sing worth a crap and laughs about it to this day, but he also knew that his job was “entertainer” and he pulled that off with fabulous aplomb. Just watch the old bandstand kinescopes, and you’ll see “the attitude” in his performances. If you had “the attitude,” you didn’t need the chops. Of all the Philly teen idols Bobby Rydell was by far and away the most polished. he was (is) a true superstar.

SEG SAYS: Yep. Mr. Forte struck me as a very down to earth, regular guy. Rydell IS a talent, except for acting, he went the Bobby Darin route and has done very well for himself. Come to think of it, he was excellent in ‘Bye Bye Birdie’. Good Lord, Ann-Margaret was hot in that film…

Mark Ross: More great insight. Good photo with Dee Clark and Johnny Crawford. As a kid, I lived for those Birth Of A Star events. Not only did Crawford sing, he did rope tricks too. I remember another teen star from those shows, a redhead kid named Eddie Hodges- he sang “I’m Gonna Knock On Your Door”.
My curiosity is up now- I’ve got to check out High Time. I remember hanging with my older brother behind a barricade at UOP during shooting, just hoping to catch a glimpse of Tuesday & Fabian.

SEG SAYS: Been searching high and low for a copy of that movie for YEARS! I have never found one. No torrents either. If anyone finds it, please let me know. It’s a really fun movie.

Michele Hartley: Your dad was cool! lol. got a smile out of it all!

Mark John Vukovich: Yeah really…the folks wouldn’t have been very impressed by that Hollywood glitz…Good read about old time Stockton…

SEG SAYS: You guys are right on the money. My dad WAS cool, and no one in my family was ever impressed with celebrity. Except me…but I got over it before I was out of my teens .I mean, if I had a shot at being one, then how ‘special’ ARE these people?

Responses to last week’s Weekend Roundup…

Cherie Porter: Bill Graham once said that in order to succeed you need talent, focus, and luck. The “work ethic” you have described in a myth taught to us in public schools so that people will be good workers. It has little to do with real life. In real life, some people with talent make it commercially and others don’t. Alot relied on luck and happenstance, fate and destiny. Some things are meant to be and other things are not, regardless of the presence of talent. Commerical success is something all artists dream of achieving but some never do — or don’t until after they are dead and then rediscovered. The important thing is: if you have talent, use that talent to better the world in whatever way you can and let go of the rest. We are here to serve a purpose but not necessarily to serve our own purposes.

SEG SAYS: Of course you need luck, but you have it, you had better be damned good and ready to take advantage of it. Hard work is not a myth. It isn’t enough, however, to overcome a lack of talent. There are a lot of people out there that will never be able to ace the solo in ‘Beck’s Bolero’, but it won’t be because they didn’t work at it. There is also the matter of ‘timing’, and the willingness to wait for the right moment to make your move. Then there’s the public. They don’t care about any of that. They care that your music or songs touch them in some way. There is no formula or secret to success. There is no book or piece of advice that will guarantee you a place in the stars. If one person KNEW how to create success every time, that person would be King of the World, and his picture would be on our money.

Keith (Keef) Fraser: Lester Dent’s “Man Of Bronze”, pulp series was one of my favourite. In the 60’s and early 70’s the covers painted by James Bama were fantastic. When I grew out of short pants the first major item I bought was a Bama print.
When I got married not only did I loss my innocents, but also my collection of Doc Savage books. They just took up too much room and didn’t fit the decor. I still have the print, but it’s hanging in the basement with the stuff that shouldn’t be see by decent people . . . like my drums. Keef (If God wanted me to go to sleep, he would switch off the Internet at night)

SEG SAYS: If you have stuff you love and you get married, you had better have a basement or a nice garage for your shit. Even fucking Batman had a cave for his stuff…and at least his butler did the housework and didn’t nag him about why he was down in the cave all the time doing God knows what with his crap instead of helping out around the house and going to the store because we’re out of yogurt.

Jim Chisholm: Lots of great questions Bob. Success is relative of course. I’m finding in my aging that success is more aligned with becoming self-fulfilled rather than becoming popular or rich. I keep telling my students that success in learning music and playing an instrument starts with desire and then grows with enthusiasm and motivation. The 2nd and 3rd are harder to come by.

SEG SAYS: The best description I ever heard of success was doing something you absolutely love and getting by. I still subscribe to that definition. Of course, having food on the table and not living in a refrigerator carton on a steam grate has its appeal, too…

Pie: Thanks for the spoiler! I didn’t know Sam Elliott’s character dies in Road House. I (surprisingly) haven’t seen the movie yet. It’s ok – I’m still going to watch it. I hear there’s this part where Sam shows off a scar a near crotch-level and you can clearly notice a lack of underwear.
I’ve got a screencap of it under my pillow.
Yeah, I’ll be watching that movie….

SEG SAYS: Sorry, Sweetie. Because Sam is in it, I figured you’d seen Road House a million times. To make it up to you, here’s a couple of pictures of Sam for you. Forgive me?

Michael Tomasek: Why does Apple make their batteries irreplaceable?
They are replacable,cheap at Irepair.ca on college street in Toronto.They can also sell you a hard drive for your(older )Ipod. Cheap and great service on all things Apple. “Why don’t soft drink manufacturers use Splenda, a sweetener made from sugar that tastes like sugar in their diet drinks instead of the potentially dangerous chemically based ones?” Allegedly because Reagan owed Rumsfeld for something..
http://www.rense.com/general33/legal.htm

Thanks again for a fab column.

SEG SAYS: Amazing! Thanks for this, Michael. For all of Steve Jobs’ brilliance, why Apple products have obsolescent factors built into them is beyond me. I have several friends who will be overjoyed with this information.

Michele Hartley: When I was young, I had it all figured out…but since then, I’ve misplaced my memory somewhere among the confusion..
”The Forty Year Secret” is on my list of wants for this year…I read an article on FYI, so very touching .. and as always, thanks for the A&R’s Bob.

SEG SAYS: Thanks, Michele. The link to “The 40 Year Secret” is a  further down at the end of the nice note from Linda Dawe. You can watch the whole documentary online.

Mark Ingram: Well Said Bob!!! Everyone should read Bob’s article. I couldn’t have said it any better myself…And for those of you who know me well, have heard me rant over many of his points made in this excellent article. Many of you have heard me saying the same things many times over the past years. Take the time to read this and think about his points made. Take time also to explore the tracks that he talks about near the end of the article and you just might understand what is being said.

SEG SAYS: I’m flattered. A lot of people have said what I tried to say much better over the years, but I felt compelled to speak up. Sometimes, the vox populi leaves me scratching my head…

Linda Dawe: Thanx Bob for being there. You are THE Dude….

Tell Pie we missed her on Sunday.

Just so you know, the response to the doc has been overwhelming for us, Mary Anne Alton and the CBC.

For the CBC it was unexpected and unprecedented…..

We are besieged with emails and phone calls….all of us.

We have over 250 emails here at just our place to answer.

There has been a link set up to view the doc “internet streaming” because of the demand.

The CBC’s blog board is full……unbelievable.

It was unbelievable that my old buddy David (Farrell) was there on Sunday, we were thrilled…

All our best

Linda & Ray

Here’s the link to “The 40 Year Secret”:

http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Shows/The_Passionate_Eye/ID=1396085855

And if you would like to comment and see other responses: http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/discussion/2010/01/40_year_secret.html

SEG SAYS: Pie and I send our best to you and Ray. You are an amazing pair.

Sandra Walterhouse-Hughes: That was lovely Bob, and it was so nice to meet you.  Thanks again.
http://www.hughes-houseinteriors.com

SEG SAYS: My pleasure, Sandra. Our best to you.

And finally, we close with another fine forward from Keith ‘First Cut Is the Deepest’ Hampshire:

See you on Wednesday…

Thanks to all of you who wrote and shared your stories with us. That’s why we’re here. See you all on Wednesday…

That’s enough for now. Email me at segarini@fyimusic.ca with your comments, complaints, and thoughts, and remember…don’t believe a word I say.

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, The Segarini Band, and Cats And Dogs, and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now provides content for radiothatdoesntsuck.com with RadioZombie, The Iceage, and PsychShack. Along with the love of his life, Jade (Pie) Dunlop, (who hosts and writes “I’ve Heard That Song Before” on RTDS), continues to write, make music, and record.