The First Annual Don’t Believe a Word I Say Housecleaning: The Festival of Untold Stories and a VERY special edition of A&R Online!

Q: How does a musician make a million dollars?

A: He starts out with 10 million.

Q: What did the musician do when he won the lottery?

A: He gigged and gigged, and gigged, until he spent all the money.

To paraphrase Robert Heinlein, the music business is a harsh mistress. Its pitfalls are many and its rewards few. There is an old saying: “If you’re in the music business and you bail out after a year, you weren’t meant to be in it. If you’re in the music business and you bail out after 30 years, you weren’t meant to be in it.”

What that means, of course, is that it is a commitment that few are able to make, and of those who do, fewer are able to keep.

Devoting your life to entertaining people, creating that entertainment, and staying the course until your last morphine drip, is nigh on impossible. To want to do this is one thing…to do it in the face of ridiculous odds, and enormous obstacles, is another. To be a lifer in this business is to embrace the clarion call of Tim Allen’s character, Jason Nesmith, (Peter Quincy Taggart), in Galaxy Quest, “Never give up…Never surrender!”

Easier said than done.

I know dozens and dozens of people who were in a rock band at one time or another in their lives. So do you. If you asked around, you would discover that a lot of your friends who are now in real estate, salespeople, lawyers, accountants, short order cooks, drug dealers or WalMart greeters, used to be bass players, drummers, guitar players and singers in either failed bands, or bands they either quit, or were fired from, that went on to greatness.

Believe it or not, there was a time when being in a rock band was the Holy Grail for any red blooded boy with a song in his heart and a hormonal imbalance in his pants. It was the gateway to financial security, adoration, a lavish lifestyle, and women fit to be Playmates of the Month or have tenure at Hooters.

Music, radio, records, and especially rock music, mattered.

Today, red blooded boys have Halo in their hearts, a script on their laptop, and a code monkey on their backs.

They don’t want to be Steven Tyler, they want to be Steve Jobs.

They don’t want to be Mick Jagger, they want to be Michael Bay.

Truth is, music is no longer perceived as the path to glory, the mansion with grotto, or the admiration of your peers, and in order to make it in the music biz these days, you don’t particularly need talent…you need computer skills and good looks.

Not to say that some good stuff doesn’t come out of that, but it’s just not the same quest, the same adventure. Most people reaching for musical success will not spend much time sleeping in vans or on floors, building an audience by blindly driving to new places and getting gigs, or labouring over songs they write, not to make them fit the formats of radio, but to create a better song.

There are, of course, exceptions to the rules, but still…it is rare to find the old school dedication to content, and much more likely to find that kind of work and dedication to marketing instead. The creativity seems to lie more in reaching the public, than what you’re trying to reach the public with.

In the old days, you gigged, and toured, and worked on your music. These days, you assemble your product, Tweet, Facebook, and blog.

People want to hear you? You direct them to your MySpace page. People want to see you, you send them to YouTube.

*sigh*

All of this adds up to why I love the kids that have the tech skills and are market-savvy, understand the importance of social networking, and realize that these are tools in their quest to spread the word about their music, but also want to get out there and play to the people, even if it means sleeping on a speaker cabinet in a van that smells like KFC and bass player socks.

They do sleep in vans and on floors, tour relentlessly, play as many gigs as possible, and have even invented new ways to go live and personal.

House concerts, triple bills in small venues, small scale package tours that only cover territory that one of the bands have played before, always on the move, always playing, always perfecting their writing and performing skills.

If there were ever a group you could label ‘torch-bearers’, these are them. Front line dreamers in a stand-in-line world. Kids that would rather risk it all on the road and with original music and ideas, than audition for a reality show, enter a contest, or emulate what they hear on the radio in order to gain acceptance.

In an era of formulaic dominance of the arts, it is good old rock and roll that still manages to push the envelope, embracing the new, and respecting the old school work ethic that spawned the reason we all do this till we drop.

So if you’re new at this, bust your ass, write what you know and from the heart, and play as much as possible.

If you’re an old coot, (and many of us are), keep the faith, get a residency or open mic jam night gig, and keep writing and recording and spreading the word. All of you, young and old alike, are the heart and soul of this business, and without you, all else is peripheral. If you don’t write it and play it, everyone else is out of a job. Remember that the next time you find yourself in Timmins on a February night playing to 30 people in a community centre, or have your wife come down to the basement at 3 in the morning and tell you to put down the guitar and come to bed because you’re keeping the kids awake.

Do the work, follow your dreams, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You will…and some of them will be painful…but the mistakes are where the best stories come from, and without the mistakes, you will learn nothing, and your music will suffer.

And never…never, give up.

Unless you suck.

Untold Stories of Rock…or, Oops! I did it again…

Sometimes, you screw up so unintentionally, that you don’t realize it until years later. Sometimes, someone screws up for you, and you can only hold on for dear life and pray you don’t end up bitter and angry.

Today’s A&R Online is all about missed opportunities, errors in judgment, and the harsh reality of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, or, worse, the wrong thing for the right reasons.

Grab a beer, and turn up the speakers…

Volume 38: Untold Stories and Smooth Moves Edition – You can hear all of these tracks by going to www.radiothatdoesntsuck.com/myWimpy.html and click on ‘A & R Online Volume 38’ Just Google the artists names for more information about them.

The Us – Just Me/How Can I Tell Her

If you read this week’s Monday Morning Mailbag, you saw the email from Mike Dugo, who has a great and informative site you can find here: 60sgaragebands.com

He reminded me of a group I was in that I had completely forgotten about. The group was The Us, and it came between the Ratz and the Family Tree. I have no recollection of how we met and formed a band, but I do recall the guys were from the Bay Area and we had a fifth member named Reuben Bettencourt, who was an amazing guitarist and left occasionally to do session work, or play with a better band, or something, returning and disappearing several times while we were together.

Abe, (Voco) Kesh, head of A&R at Autumn Records saw us in Clear Lake California, about 100 miles north of the City, where we spent a good deal of time opening for touring bands, (including a lot of Autumn’s roster), during a residency at a great indoor/outdoor venue in the resort town. and he took us to Tom Donahue, one of my radio heroes from San Francisco’s amazing KYA, who, along with fellow disc jockey, Bobby Mitchell, created Autumn Records to record local artists and get them on the radio. Tom would go on to start KMPX, which, no matter what you hear to the contrary, was THE first ‘underground’ radio station…ever. We found ourselves at Coast Recorders in San Francisco, a studio that was SF’s equivalent to Gold Star in L.A. It was THE studio to record in. We were given to Autumn’s resident producer and engineer, Sylvester Stewart, who later morphed into Sly Stone and did okay for himself, and John Haeney, a wonderful engineer I later worked with at Elektra when he prduced and engineered the Roxy album. We recorded this single and everybody was really excited about it. So excited, that after our residency and recording, they shipped us off to L.A to play and get ready for stardom.

We got to L.A just in time to enjoy the Watts Riots.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watts_Riots

It was pretty amazing. Listening to a reporter on the radio who was hiding behind a mailbox describing the fires and a gun battle, bullets ricocheting off the mailbox as he spoke.

Jack Ellis and Frank Lupeca and I were sitting on the back of a bus bench in front of the building next to Ben Franks on Sunset one night, the glow of the Watts fires lighting up the horizon, when a brand new Cadillac Coupe DeVille pulled up right in front of us. Three of the four doors opened up and 5 gigantic men emerged from the car. “Say Boys”, said one as they strode past us. Then…we heard the sound of breaking glass. Looking behind us, we saw them enter the store next to Ben Franks, kicking glass away from the shattered display window they had thrown a brick or whatever through to gain access, and disappear into the darkened store. I noticed a sixth man still at the wheel in the caddy.

About 2 minutes later they came out of the store the same way they went in. They were carrying more guns and ammo than I have ever seen in one place in my life. “’Night boys,” the same guy that spoke to us earlier said, a big grin on his face. I looked up at the store’s signage.

It was a Gun Shop.

We were waiting for the single to be released, and playing around L.A. The Cinimmon Cinders, Gazzarri’s, either the Sea Witch or Pandora’s, I forget which, and a new place on the same block as the Whiskey, a bar that would become famous for a band that would play there often before moving on the the Whiskey and fame, The Doors.

We were still waiting when I finally got a phone call from Tom Donahue who apologized for the delay, but that there was a good reason the songs hadn’t been released yet.

“What would that be?” I asked.

“Syl and I were talking, and we believe that this record can go to number one…if we add strings to both sides”.

“What?”

“Strings. You know, violins, cello…strings. This record will break big. I can guarantee number one at KYA”.

I hung up on him.

He called back. I told him I didn’t want strings on the record. He patiently explained it to me again. The record would be HUGE if we put the strings on it. He would go all out.

I held my ground. The man who gave us the Beau Brummels, the We 5, The Mojo Men, Vejtables, and other top Bay Area bands listened to my reasoning, (“We’re a rock band, man. We don’t need no strings!”), and finally reached his limit. “Look,” he said, “We don’t put strings on this record, we don’t release this record!”

“Fine!,” I said, and hung up.

I told the band. Jack Ellis, Varsh, (Werner Brandt), and Frank Lupeca, (who went on to form The Travel Agency, a great 3 piece power pop band), looked at me like I had just pulled a gun on Jesus.

We broke up over that…and the fact that I had taken to smoking pot.

It’s true. I single handedly shot myself in the foot, and became my own worst enemy.

The Family Tree – Sideliner

This was supposed to be The Family Tree’s first single. The original plan was to release this, backed with ‘Keepin’ A Secret’ which did end up as the ‘B’ side of the song they released instead, ‘Do You Have The Time’.

I thought we had a winner here, and everyone who heard it agreed. Again, there was a phone call.

“Uhhh, Bob, it’s about the background vocals in the last verse.”  Some guy in the RCA promo department is on the phone..

“What about them?”  I asked, innocently.

“What, exactly are you guys singing there?”

“Bup,” I answered.

“Bup?”

“Yes, just like the other verses.”

“Well, Bob, it kind of sounds like ‘fuck’ to me…and a few other people here in the office.”

“Fuck? Really?” I said, my halo glowing above my head.

“Yes. It sounds very much like ‘fuck.’”

“Well, It’s not. Gotta go. Bye.”

They asked me to redo the background vocals. I said no.

Do You Have the Time became the A side of the single and ‘Sideliner’ was never released.

I guess we shouldn’t have sung ‘fuck’ in the doubling of the last verse, or the others for that matter, instead of ‘Bup’.

My other foot now has a bullet hole in it.

Roxy – We Gotta Stop the War

My reaction to the escalation of the Vietnam war. Talked Jac Holzman into letting us record this. He liked it so much, he wanted us to go back in the studio and record a ‘B’ side and he would release it. No, I insisted, let’s just send a double ‘A’ side to radio as soon as possible. They’ll play it. Jac gave in and serviced the rock radio stations.

There was never a release to the public, and because there was no record. Radio wouldn’t play it.

I’m running out of feet…

Segarini and Bishop – Dear Jesus God/Over Me

Roxy was all but broken up due to the failure of the album and the last couple of singles, and Rand Bishop and I were at loose ends trying to figure out what to do. The Wackers were just a recurring thought at this time, and we were desperate to keep writing and working. We had written a song for the Carpenters which they loved, but didn’t have room on their album for, when John Frankenheimer, our manager and good friend, called with the opportunity to get a track into a movie. We submitted a couple and they accepted both. We recorded these with Chuck Britz, the Beach Boys engineer, behind the board, and Rockabilly legend Jimmy Bowen producing. The band was Elvis’s Vegas backup band including legendary drummer Ron Tutt.

Two takes each, live off the floor, with background vocals and horns added afterwards.

We took a pass on being in the scene in the desert with Bonnie and Delaney, Rita Coolidge, and David Gates from Bread, as well as a future Eagle or two.

Jimmy wanted us to record more songs for his label.

We passed.

I’m an idiot.

Segarini, Bishop, Coolidge, and Nash – Slow Down

A bunch of us were out to dinner one night with Elektra’s head of A&R, David Anderle. Rand and I had sung backups, (with Claudia Linear and the rest of the Blackberries), on ‘Crazy Love’, on Rita’s first album, and she and Graham were going out at the time, and we all hit it off. With us were a few other folks including Chris Ethridge, everybody in L.A’s go-to bass player and founding member of the Flying Burrito Brothers. After dinner, (and not a few drinks), David said it was a shame we didn’t have a song to record because he’d like to hear us all together. “I have one!” I said. I didn’t yet, but I was hastily scribbling lyrics down on a napkin and humming a melody in my head.

David called an engineer and a couple more players were rounded up by phone. We headed for Elektra, ran through the tune a couple of times, and recorded this track. To the best of my knowledge, we had either Jimmy Keltner or Travis Fullerton, Little Richard’s touring drummer, Chris Ethridge on bass, Steve Lalor from the Daily Flash and Jim DeCoque on guitars, Don Galluci of Don and the Goodtimes fame and now A&R guy on piano, and Booker T on Hammond. Randy played acoustic, Rita and I did the lead duet, and Randy and Graham joined in on the chorus.

Great time.

Never followed it up, never recorded a second tune, never bothered to ask David to release it. He did, however put Rand, Rita, and I together to play live, and soon after introduced us to Mike Stull, and the beginning of the Wackers…

The Wackers – Roll Over Beethoven (Live)

Recorded by Russ Gary, (Creedence Clearwater Revival), with Doug Clifford and Ton Fogarty sitting with him in the Wally Heider Mobile Studio, at The New Orleans House in Berkeley, California. Recorded for a live album that was never released. The only thing I can find from that night are a half a dozen board mixes that Russ did on the fly.

We tore the roof off the place, Everyone was knocked out, but Elektra refused to release an album.

Your guess is as good as mine, although in 1971, the kind of music we were playing was out of fashion. Ha…Randy’s lead vocal on this track is amazing, and Chuck Berry will never be out of fashion…

All the Young Dudes – We’re No Angels

Co-written with Kim Fowley, this is the title cut of The Dudes infamous CBS album that should have been a killer, but got produced out of the running. Still, there were some great songs on this album. Too bad no one got to hear them the way they could have sounded.

The Segarini Band – 10^th Avenue Freezeout

Jaimie Vernon of Bullseye Records  put together a Bruce Springsteen Tribute disc  for charity to join the already existing double CD as a release in Canada. The Segarini Band, well, Kashur, St. Denis, and myself, came out of retirement to contribute a track. Joined by Lawrie Ingles, Todd Miller, ans the Segarettes, (Annette Shaffer, Yvonne Way, and Pie), we cut what I think is a great version of my favourite Bruce tune. After all the tracks were recorded, Jon Landau, The Boss’s boss, ix-nayed the whole project.

Douche…

Win of the Week – Fazer Magazine

The party these guys threw to celebrate the re-launch of their online magazine was one of the best of the year. Great people, and a great time. Check the magazine out. Lots of good stuff about Indie Bands you may not be aware of. More about Fazer and their crew in a future DBAWIS.

http://www.fazermagazine.com/new/

Fail of the Week

Sarah Palin wrote a book, do dah…do dah…Sarah Palin wrote a book, all the do dah day.

Where does this woman find the time to keep annoying us?

Parting Shot

Yikes! Check this out., and take a look at the other stuff on the page.

I’ve been waiting for this movie for the better part of a decade, and what I’ve seen so far tells me it will be worth the wait. Opens on December 14^th…and it’s in 3-D!!!

Avatar: http://movies.ign.com/dor/objects/800318/avatar/videos/avatar_hardware.html

And a friendly reminder…

You asked for it, so we did it. Go here and see just what we did. New items will be added shortly. Please tell us what you’d like to have available here, and we’ll see what we can do.

http://www.cafepress.ca/gottahavebob

Have a great weekend, see you on Monday…

That’s enough for now. Email me at segarini@fyimusic.ca with your comments, complaints, and thoughts…and remember…don’t believe a word I say.

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, The Segarini Band, and Cats and Dogs, and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now provides content for radiothatdoesntsuck.com with RadioZombie, The Iceage, and PsychShack. Along with the love of his life, Jade (Pie) Dunlop, (who hosts and writes “I’ve Heard That Song Before” on RTDS), continues to write, make music, and record.